I apologize for being a little skimpy on the posts this week. John and I have family visiting currently so it has been difficult to find additional time to write. However I am inspired on some new topics related to intergenerational relationships; my writing should pick back up again sometime next week. In the mean time I leave you with has become the second part of a post on meeting me for intergenerational relationships.
Last week one of my posts included suggestions on where a younger man might meet older gay men. This week I take a look at suggestions for older men. Inevitably there is quite a bit of overlap in these suggestions, but I’ve tried to tailor each to the older man. Again, I hope these suggestions will encourage readers to try a variety of strategies when it comes to meeting other men.
1. Find a gay dating site geared toward intergenerational relationships. I think this is a little more imperative for older gay men than it is for the younger guys. Traditional gay dating sites offer a huge pool of hot young guys, but you end up having to wade through all of them to find the few that are legitimately interested in older men. Sites such as Silverdaddies, Caffmos, DaddyHunt, and SeeksOlder take much of the guess work out of contacting younger men. You know they are much more likely to be interested in you so you save time and trouble.
2. Join an organized group geared toward GLBT members. When choosing a group try to find a topic or hobby you’re interested in, but also consider whether younger guys are also likely to be involved. The local gay softball team or cycling group are probably safe bets. The wine tasters and square dance clubs probably are not.
3. Get involved with your local GLBT community center. This is all about knowing what is going on in the community and networking with people. The larger your gay social circle the more likely you are to meet someone interesting. Or to be introduced to someone from someone in your new larger social circle. Through the local community center you’ll know what special events are happening in your area and they can probably help you find some of the GLBT groups mentioned above.
4. If you haven’t already, consider joining a gym. This isn’t about obtaining a gym body; for the most part younger guys that are attracted to older men aren’t looking for the traditional adonis anyway. However fitness is important and young guys like to know that you’re taking care of yourself. Ultimately you’ll look and feel better, but don’t feel like you have to kill yourself during your workouts. The other important aspect of going to the gym is actually meeting people. As the character Jack said on Will and Grace, the gym is gay church. It offers a lot of potential for meeting young, fit guys.
5. Go to the gay bars and clubs. Like with traditional dating sites you may have to wade through a lot of guys that just aren’t interested in older men. We’re a part of gay culture which cherishes youth, don’t let it get you down. Instead grab a friend, go and have fun, and try to chat up some of the younger guys, just don’t try too hard. Going with a friend will help keep you calm and will give you someone to enjoy your experience with, whether you meet someone or not. Ultimately, this will help you meet people; you’ll look fun and confident. When going out try to keep yourself age appropriate. Depending on your age and personal style certain clubs just might not work for you. As I’ve said before, trying too hard will evoke a sense of pity or scorn from your intended target rather than attraction.
6. Keep you eyes and mind open during your day to day life. As a group gay people are pretty bad at keeping to ourselves; we think that gay bars and dating sites are our only options. Instead, remain open to opportunities to meet people all the time. Your hobbies and everyday activities may present opportunities for potential mates to approach you. Just walking your dog, reading a book at the coffee shop, or what you pick up at the grocery store may draw a potential mate’s attention. Also, look for ways to start conversations with those men you find handsome or interesting. I’m not saying you should flirt shamelessly, but test the waters with attractive younger men when you can. Even if they don’t happen to be gay learning to approach and talk with younger men will be good practice for when you do meet an younger gay man.
For those older guys out there that have dated younger men, what strategies have worked best for you? At what sort of places is it easiest to meet younger men?